The thing no one ever tells you about buying a house is that once you do, there’s a relentless pile of projects that must be done.

HAHAHA just kidding. EVERYONE tells you that. We decided not to listen and bought a house anyway. A 1950’s rambler, to be exact.

It’s weird, no matter how much homework you do, there are still surprises once the house is actually yours. We were walking around for weeks saying, “Huh. There’s a hole in that door.” Or, “Huh. There are staples around ALL the windows.” Or (my husband’s favorite), “Huh. There are sheets and sheets of moldy visqueen stuffed in this cupboard.” SURPRISE!

But two months in, we’re getting more settled as we continue to unpack, hang up artwork, and update. For the most part, we’re enjoying the projects — it feels good to invest time and energy into something that’s yours.

But this last week… it was kitchen painting time.

Do you SEE that horrendous-ness? FAUX BRICK TILES, people. Surrounded by dirty (LITERALLY dirty) black paint. Awful. AWFUL. I actually painted those bricks several weeks ago because I Could. Not. Deal. That still left us with the raw-wood kitchen cabinets to paint (advertised as “You get to pick your own finish!”). We knew that painting the cabinets would have to be one of our top priorities, as we didn’t want them to get all grimy and gunked up. So finally, finally, we got to it.

I won’t get into all the nitty gritty details, but needless to say, painting cabinets sucks. Lessons learned:

• Ummm, WOW these cabinets are crappily made! We knew they weren’t the highest caliber before, but gettin’ all up in their grill really confirms it.
• Oil primer takes FOREVER to dry. FOR-EV-ER. Since the cabinets were unfinished wood, the paint guy at the local hardware store recommended we use it. NEVER AGAIN.
• Wet paint = magnet for cat tails.
• No matter how much masking you do, there will always — always — be goof-ups.

After five days, all the cabinets are finally re-hung and…

IT’S DONE. I’ve strategically hidden all the “this need a touch-up” spots. But you know, it works. For now, I’ll consider it one more project checked off the list. Completed ones so far:

• Replace roof.
• Replace the “will definitely kill you in your sleep” electrical panel.
• Repair tub plumbing.
• Paint kitchen cabinets.
• Add weather stripping to the “can see sunlight through it” front door.
• Add cat door to “The Once and Future Garage”.
• Replace broken back door.
• Insulate pipes in crawl space.
• Add big-ass shed to the backyard.

Looks fairly impressive, until compared to our “to be done” list:

• Install bathroom fan.
• Repair drainage on the side of the house (will involve trench digging — fun!).
• Paint ALL THE THINGS.
• Replace the ghetto single-pane windows.
• Convert “The Once and Future Garage” BACK into a garage.
• Replace the “can no longer see sunlight but still ghetto” front door.
• Repair sad and slanted front step.
• Convert laundry room into a laundry room/2nd bathroom.
• Tame and landscape the Jungle that is our backyard.

We’ll get it done, Rambler, one project at a time….